Seabiscuit (2003, Gary Ross) 28

Show, I guess. A shockingly flabby follow-up to Pleasantville; where Pleasantville was (whatever else you might think about it) narratively tight, this thing lumbers through forty minutes of beginnings before starting where it should, with Jeff Bridges meeting Chris Cooper. Until that point, we have to suffer through a tiring succession of "dramatic" events that are supposed to tell us "who these characters are" and what's "at stake for them", and failing at each of these tasks. Ever taken a writing class where, as an exercise, the class creates a character, and throws a bunch of life story on the blackboard? Well, here's what it looks like when it's filmed. Screenwriters, do me a favor: cut this backstory shit out of the first draft, or incorporate it into the story in a way that doesn't slow it down. You're killin' me.

Once it starts, though, it's enjoyable enough, if unremarkable. I mean, sure, I can sympathize with a character who likes to sleep all day and eat twice as much as anyone else; who can't? But don't tell me this horse was more important than the New Deal. Director, please.

Finally, call me cynical or just over-sensitive, but I can't help but feel queasy when a rich character completely unaffected by the depression gives a series of bullshit press conferences and the reporters nod furiously and jot down every word like it was gospel. Guess I'm just funny like that.