Probably the last PG3 update for awhile. We had a reading on Sunday (happy birthday to me!) and it went well; lots of good (and surprising) feedback. For example, there's a short prologue in the current draft that I was dead-set against, but most of the readers felt it set the tone on the right note, so it looks like that's staying in for the time being. Blind readings are always a trip. You never know what people are going to pick up on and what's going to fly right past them. Also, two of the readers were Todd and Brendan, friends of mine who are entering the concurrent Director Contest. C'mon guys; Seattle's gonna need some representation in PG3.
Cuz, honestly, I don't think it's gonna be us. I'm very happy with what we've done so far (in two weeks, no less), and I'm incredibly excited by what we're going to be doing (in terms of future projects and a Yellow rewrite), but I don't think this draft is strong enough. It's afflicted by a malady common to scripts by beginning screenwriters, the Passive Protagonist Syndrome; too much happening to him and not enough doing by him. If I'm allowed to place blame on something other than myself, I blame the incredibly short window we had for outlining the piece. There were tiny cracks in the original outline that weren't visible until they became huge fissures that we had to spackle over at the last minute.
But, hey, that's two weeks for you. The fact that we wrote a story that a group of people found pleasing in such a short time (a record for me) is an achievement in itself. And even more heartening, the solutions to the Syndrome above can be easily found in what we've already written. The second draft will kick ass!
But it's not the second draft that will be entered in the contest. I'm curious what people will think of it. My wife expects the peer group (the people who judge the first round) to be made of idiots who'll hate the Limbo-esque ending, the one thing that works like gangbusters. But we'll see.
Hopefully, Martin will share his thoughts on the process in the comments section. Martin?
Where we saw it: project greenlight | We deign to rate it: outta 100I was pretty surprised by a few things at the reading as well. That people so strongly (and universally) liked the opening was a real eye opener. I was more passive towards it myself, but there you go. Over all, they seemed to like the characters, even in a few spots feeling emotional connections when bad things happened to them.
Mostly, I’m really glad that we had no-one say “Jeez, you guys—you can’t have X happen because it would make no sense when you did Y.” I was pleasantly surprised that all of the problems people had are easily addressed and were relatively minor
I think Draft Two will be a lot stronger, although I think we may be closer to it than we think (maybe not by the time it needs to be sent off, but close…). I think first we try the simple things, and then we try the more difficult things.
As for P.G., well, I'm not optimistic about our chances of actually winning. I think the script is too complex. Unless they are strong readers, or take the time with it, I think a lot of it will be ignored in favor of quick thrills, which we offer a few but not an abundance.
But, echoing your sentiments, the most important part of this was the success we've had in team writing in such a tight timeline. I'm really proud of what we've done, and feel strongly about this piece even though it was limited to a genre that is not either of our strongest. I think the next pieces will be even better. I’m really gratified by the whole process.
And to those of you who have read the script, I ask only this: How’s your mother?
Posted by: Martin at February 24, 2004 02:02 PM